Monday, 14 July 2014
When you are a foster child happiness can be hard to find. The sense of having no roots and no family history to share with friends and co-workers and the, sometimes overwhelming, sense of loneliness can almost unendurable.
My closest friends Eve and Ella have already described the broad-brush details of what went wrong in an earlier blog entry. It has been a tumultuous six months and not a time that I will ever forget. Indeed early 2014 is right up there in the "Didi nastiness scale" with when I was taken away from my birth parents and placed in foster care. Yes, it has been that bad!
Flying solo having once had a co-pilot isn't much fun. I have felt surrounded by grey clouds for much of the time and I've been aware, all too painfully aware, that I have been a source of much worry to my friends and foster parents alike. Believe me that wasn't through my own choice!
Do I think that Magda and I have a future? Deep, deep down in that little nugget of my brain labelled reality the answer has to be no. Magda's emotional roots and so much of what makes her who she is lie in Norway - the country of her birth. England was never her home, it was the place where she lived which is something rather different. After the break-up and her return to the parental nest we did discuss me moving to Norway to be with her. But it was always just words, not deeds. The hard fact and the one we could never find a way round was that I do not want to leave my friends, my job and the safe familiarity of England to move overseas.
So that is the end of the story. They say that you never forget your first true love and I hope that I never forget Magda
Didi (Monday 14th July 2014)
Sunday, 13 July 2014
The relationship between Didi and Magda started going wrong in November 2013. At the time Didi wrote, "Where before it was Didi and Magda it is now just Didi - yes I'm sorry to say that the two of us have split up. Magda has moved out of my flat and now is staying with friends on the other side of town. It was all done in a very civilised and semi-amicable way but I don't think what we once had can ever be resurrected. It's the old story being repeated for the nth time, where n is an exceptionally large number, where two people wanted different things from a relationship.
Ella and I hoped that things would sort themselves out but as the weeks went past we started to realise that it wasn't just one of those minor rows, soon forgotten.
At the start of December Didi wrote, "I really don't know how I would have got though the last few weeks without the support of my closest friends. I'm still struggling to come to terms with what has happened. I 100% didn't see it coming and I'm cross that I so misjudged the situation. Not for the first time my big mouth has got me into trouble.
Christmas came and the two of them were both so sad. They stayed in regular touch with us and Didi's Christmas letter updated all her friends on how things were.
Over Christmas it seemed that the worst was over.It was all quite dramatic and romantic with Magda arriving unannounced at the South Wales bash to talk to Didi. There were lots of tears and laughter and what we hoped was a happy ending.